In the light of the controversial internal Google memo written by James Damore, here is a story, written strictly for amusement. The concept of gender issues was in my mind for a long time, what if women would behave in the way men do? What if the roles were reversed. Lets take a look at a life of such a man.
Once upon a time in a parallel universe, in galaxy far away, was a planet.
It wasn’t your ordinary planet. It was special. It was special because the dominating race were women.
The name of the planet was Mirth.
Every morning at day break, the men would wake up and make the breakfast and pack tiffin for the family. Then they would dress to leave for work. The kids would be dressed for school by the male member of the family. The patient father would lovingly pack their meals into their bags.
Sometimes their kind wives would leave them to the school & nearest train station in their family owned vehicle. If they got late by any reason, the male member would hire a cab and drop the kids off before reporting himself to his workplace, late.
He dreaded such days. His boss was usually a woman and he had to work in a team of many Alpha women. The last boss had been fired by the company for harassment and striving for a gender diverse workplace, the HR had recommended an Alpha woman to sort the mess created by the very feminine predecessor. His new boss believed in empathy and tolerance, but he knew that his excuse of not reaching to work on time would only be a reflection on his work ethic and perhaps lower his record.
With a sigh of relief to have reached the workplace on time today, he took the first few minutes to re-organise his desk and list out his tasks for the day. Almost covertly, he made a second list in his mind; milk, eggs, fruits…, notebook for daughter…
He glanced into the glass cabin ahead and could view his boss just entered.
He next saw the new receptionist walk into the boss’s room with her coffee and he could see them make a joke.
“Perks of being a woman!” he thought in his mind as he opened his emails for the day, taking his last breath of serene calmness. Left behind were the worries of home, children, fevers and colds; as he engrossed himself in this heavenly environment.
At noon, he spotted some movement in the foyer outside his window. His boss and a couple of sycophantic males from the office had stepped out for a smoke. Between puffs of nicotine, she was shouting at a remote working team member on her phone, hurling the choicest abuses. The phone call ended rather abruptly and the smokers continued their discussion about the cricket game in the evening.
He would have liked to go early and catch up the cricket game too, had it not been for the pending customer response sheets he had to enter into the system.
“Why couldn’t they automate the system?” He thought in his mind, knowing fully well at back of his mind that it would mean his position would be redundant.
His thought process was interrupted by the phone ringing.
“Honey, can you come to my office please?”
It was his boss. That’s strange.
He adjusted his clothes as he got up and proceeded to knock on the glass door.
He entered with a sweet smile into the ceiling-less room. Not even glass.
“We have a new position in the nearby town. We notice that you have been working hard, doing extra hours, even weekend if we need. It’s a management position. A new office that we are opening. Your work will be primarily liaison, a lot of travel.”
She gave a disarming smile as she asked, “Would you like to be recommended?”
He asked what the compensation would be.
“It would be pretty much be the same. Many people are looking at this position from the team itself. Many of them are very aggressive women. How interested would you be?”
“Well, can I think it over? As you know, my wife has a good job in this town and kids are also going to higher grade this year.”
“Okay. Is tomorrow morning enough time? Think about it, it would be good for your resume.”
“Sure. Thanks for considering me.”
As he left her cabin, he could feel the pierce of a nagging migraine about to set.
Hearing the door click back into position, Boss picked up the phone and dialled the HR with her well-manicured nails.
“I told the cute boy who sits outside my office about the position. I don’t think he would be interested. A married man. Can we give him some incentive to join?”
She listened on over the line in silence, her eyebrows moving upwards with every passing second.
“I know! I am trying to promote diversity here as well. If you don’t have enough funds, get some young unmarried man from a third world country. I’m giving him time till the morning to respond. He seemed desperate for a more challenging assignment.”
By five, he could see all the women in the office slowly depart one after another.
“To get ready for the game in the evening!” He thought in his mind.
By six, he was almost done with his entries for the day. He quickly wound up while messaging his wife if she could pick him on the way.
First message. Second message. She didn’t answer. Maybe she was driving already.
He quickly wore his overcoat as he stepped into the street outside. Some fog and dust from the cars. No policewoman was on the street today. Strange.
Remembering his errands, he thought, “Should I take the alley to the train station?”
This part of the town was known for its mugging gangs of women. They would move in groups of 5 to 6 in fast moving vans, snatching jewellery of other women, bags and wallets of unsuspecting men.
He wrapped his coat closer around himself and tiptoed into the dark narrow alley shortcut.
The stench was overpowering. In a corner next to the wall, a homeless women was relieving herself.
Looking straight ahead he walked on, faster and faster.
“I just have to reach that light post ahead”. He prayed to God in his mind as he heard someone whistling behind him.
He almost broke into a run and hit someone as he stepped into the connected street.
“Watch it, man!” said the policewoman.
He sighed a sigh of relief.
“What you doing crossing the alley? It was just a five minute walk around the block. You would be safer that way.”
“Sorry. Next time, I’d take that route.”
He quickly stepped down the subway towards the train station. Milk, Eggs, school homework, cooking, cleaning, dishes, discussion with wife about the job offer…
He felt as if his day had just begun.